Is it just me or is it always fun to wake up at 5 AM to what sounds like a sledgehammer slamming against the wall behind you?
It's that kind of sound at that time of morning which gets you flying out of bed, wide awake and heart pounding, thinking, Should I be calling the police, because what else could that sound mean right now except that someone is being murdered? Now, I'm not up to date on sledgehammer protocol, but I'm pretty sure people don't use sledgehammers for other reasons at 5 AM.
Then you find out it that sound is the police, and they're busting down your neighbor's door. You know, just your friendly early-morning SWAT team raid. I'm talking police in full gear, with helmets, shields, and harpoon-like door-busting devices, along with a street full of identical unmarked police cars and undercover agents trying to act like it's totally normal to be milling about at the crack of dawn. Just blending in with all of the other people not awake and outside at that time of day.
At that point, there's not much to do besides trying to go back to sleep, but only after sticking your head out the window and yelling "hey, is this a covert operation? Are you trying to be stealth? Is David Caruso here?" Then you can go back to bed, and not sleep while you think about hardened criminals living in close proximity, and the things people might do with sledgehammers. However, big bonus: you've already had a full cardio workout for the day.
Three hours later, when you're taking your kids to school and you bump into the detective team finishing up, carrying out bulging garbage bags, and looking quite pleased-- what would be the proper greeting? "Good morning! I saw you busting down my neighbor's door a couple of hours ago. So that's cool." Or, "Good morning! Wachya got there? Dead bodies?"
Thinking about it now, I'm pretty sure it was a drug raid. We don't know this particular neighbor very well, and it's really too bad-- I could have been getting my crack right next door this whole time.
So kids, take note: Your criminal lifestyle might hurt your neighbor's sleep habits. And that might make them want to hurt you, possibly with a sledgehammer. Who knows where they get these ideas from-- it's just an inexplicable part of the crime cycle. Take it from someone who
The sum of everything I know about crime scene investigation.
ps- We found out that the police initially entered the wrong the apartment-- so our other neighbors, an elderly couple, woke up at 5 AM to police swarming their bedroom with their guns drawn. Ummmm, oops?