Nov 27, 2008

Giving Thanks

I went to the Dentist earlier this week, and let me assure you that if I was a dentist, a dental hygienist, a janitor at a dental office, or married to anyone in those professions, I am 100% sure I would be addicted to Nitrous Oxide. For a few years now I haven't even been able to get my teeth cleaned without the happy gas (they even gave me my own "happy mask" to keep in my glove compartment to use for future appointments). The first time they had me use it as an adult, I honestly thought I had died. After I realized I had not passed away, I remember thinking, I'm pretty sure I have kids, I wonder where they are? It was that good. Now I actually look forward to going to the dentist; I think of it as pretty much the best nap ever. This time, while doped up, I was mentally singing "Hurts So Good," and having some incredibly profound thoughts such as I like puppies. And then when I woke up I begged the hygienist to give me a canister to take home. No, I didn't do that, really. But I thought about it.

So this Thanksgiving I gave thanks for modern dental practices (along with other wondrous medical gifts such as epidurals and laser hair removal). I'm thankful for all those other good things too like family, friends, freedom... fondue, you know, the 4 F's. But I'm telling you, next time you go to the dentist, ask for the laughing gas. You'll be thanking me later.

Nov 14, 2008

A little shout out to my girls

Ever find yourself in insanely ridiculous and inconvenient situations? Over and over again? Usually involving lost car keys, kids, and general mayhem? Seriously, this is beginning to happen so much, it will probably be my epitaph: "She spent most of her life locked out of her car..."

Anyway, before today's ultra fun 3 hour episode had played out, I had walked/ran over 6 miles, and ensnared 3 other friends and their families into the tangled mess. So tonight I just want to say thanks to Marie (and Andy) for giving up the better half of your afternoon making sure that my kids didn't freeze at the park, and risking your license to escort us "Brittany" style to a warm haven. Thanks Jenni for picking up Mia from the bus stop AGAIN, and letting me throw a wrench into your busy after school schedule, and thanks Brandi for letting my family invade your house right in the middle of the most stressful time of day, on an extra stressful day in your life. Ladies, whenever you run out of gas/can't make the bus stop/need to go to the ER in the middle of the night when your husband is out of town, you know who to call: someone else, because I'll probably be locked out of my car somewhere with no cell phone.

And by the way, when I got home, there was a message on my phone-- someone had found my keys on the trail, and turned them into the library (my library card is on my keys). It's too bad I couldn't drive home to get the message because I was out running on the trail looking for said keys. But I don't want to sound ungrateful-- I'm just glad they didn't try to steal my library identity by checking out books in my name and never returning them. Can you even imagine? Like they say, it could always be worse.

Nov 6, 2008

Historic Day #2

As of today, I have now lived as many years as Baskin Robbins used to have ice cream flavors, until everyone realized, hey that's not very impressive, and anyway we'd rather go to Cold Stone because you get to pay more to have your ice cream mushed up on a really cold stone. Anyway, I was trying to think of something really clever to post, like 31 reasons that I am awesome!, but I can only think of 1 reason why I want to take a 15 year vacation, and her name is Mia. Privately, just between you and me, that kid is so jacked up from the time change and the Halloween candy (but probably not from my parenting), she is throwing tantrums that even a racist republican would be impressed with right now (OK, you know I don't think all republicans are racist right?). But publicly, I totally love my kids and can't think of anything better to do on my birthday than just being with those precious little angels and listening to them scream. Luckily for me though, Baskin Robbins needs to give people a reason to go there, and therefore sent me a coupon for a free Birthday scoop, and later today I'm going to use my little coupon and I'm going to enjoy that ice cream ALONE. Ahhhhh, I'm starting to feel better already. And happy birthday to anyone and everyone else already born or being born today.

Nov 5, 2008

Historic Day

I fell asleep while putting the kids to bed, and woke up to find we had a new President Elect. It is incredibly exciting to watch the news coverage and realize what we have been a part of. Mark and I were commenting that our kids will never remember a time when the racial barrier to the US Presidency had not been broken, and I find that to be thrilling. Though Mia might have some vague memories of this day-- I told her we were electing a new president today, and (I promise I didn't tell her who I voted for), I later heard her tell Sam, "I'm voting for Obama. You're voting for John McCain." (Sorry Senator McCain, he's only 3). And then for the rest of the day, they yelled and screamed and fought with each other, reminding me of much of this LONG, LONG campaign. Which brings me to the next reason why I am excited (no make that ecstatic!): IT'S FREAKING OVER!!!!!!!!!! Are you with me on this or not? Although SNL will possibly be a little more lame, I for one can't wait to just going back to complaining about regular commercials again. And maybe our phone will stop ringing so much between 5-9 PM. No matter what outcome you were hoping for today, I think we can agree that we will all be better off without nasty attack ads, creepy robocalls, and ridiculous forwarded emails. OK, maybe the email thing is a little too optimistic, but this campaign was all about change right? Everyone repeat after me: YES WE CAN (stop forwarding emails)! Very good.

Editor's Note: I feel I should comment that the decision process for me this election was not an easy one. As an independent, at one point I declared that I hated voting (but really what I despise is the campaigning culture of lies, distortions, and unrealistic promises). Add to that my frustrations with the electoral college, and my almost crippling pity for any one who has to lose in such a huge way, and suddenly my civic duty turns into a civic nightmare. In the past I've had no problem voting for 3rd party candidates, but this year I finally came down on the side of a front-runner candidate, and so far I'm very optimistic and inspired by the outcome. Of course, it's only been 3 hours, and it's pretty hard to mess up in that time frame. I know some of you will be worried about the Democrats having so much power, but I was encouraged during Obama's speech when he promised to especially listen to those who disagree with him. I hope he sticks to this promise. Whew! OK, enough seriousness. I promise my next post will be 100% sarcasm. And if that sounds like an unrealistic promise, well, maybe there's a politician in me after all. But read my lips: No new taxes!

Nov 1, 2008

Want to know what I was for Halloween?

A complete loser of a mom.

Yes, there is nothing quite like that feeling you get right after you realize that you have just locked your keys, cell phone, and 2 youngest children strapped in their car seats in your car. Nothing makes you beam with pride like calling 911 in a complete panic on some stranger's cell phone while they continually inform you that they are late and can you "please use someone else's phone?" And it's raining. Oh, and the baby is screaming in the car. And I was dressed up like a crazy Brittany Spears (OK, just kidding. But that would have been seriously awesome).

After the emergency rescue, here's the brood in costume for our Halloween photo shoot. We went for a "Superman and his boyhood farm friends" theme this year. (Mia is a pig by the way).
Those of you who knew me in high school and also college know that I LOVE trick or treating (it's definitely been one of my biggest disappointments in life to find out that as an adult, you're pretty much just expected to buy your own Halloween candy), and although this year our candy acquisition was pretty uneventful, the post-trick-or-treating-bedtime-meltdown will go down in history as The Reason Mia Will Never be Allowed to Have Candy Again.

Mia, before the sugar-induced hysteria, and Sam being, well, Sam.

I can't even tell you how much I loved Nate in his cow costume.

As for other Halloween related activities, last week Mia's class went on a field trip to the pumpkin patch, and I went along as a chaperon with the boys. Most of the details are a little fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure that it was super fun, that our teeth were sparkly white, we all looked awesome in our coordinated clothes from the new J Crew Fall collection, and we sang "Kum Bay Yah" the whole way home. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't get really frustrated with Sam for constantly refusing to look at the camera, my back didn't ache from carrying Nate, the kids didn't declare their hate for each other the entire drive home, and I most definitely don't remember desperately foraging for any chocolate in the house when we got home (unsweetened baking cocoa). Can't wait until next year!

On Monday Mia was in her first race, the Pumpkin Chase, put on by the high school Cross Country Team. She placed 5th for the Kindergarten girls division (400m), which technically was a winning place. Here she is with her good friend and co-racer Molly, and her biodegradable trophy, and ribbon. You can tell from the picture how she felt about the whole thing.

Happy flipping Halloween everyone.