Oct 17, 2009

I Know it's October, But is it Too Late for a Summer Recap?

Yeah, it probably is.

In fact, I'm pretty sure it's one of the Official Blogging Rules. Yep, #47. No Summer recaps after October 1st, sandwiched between #46. The words forever and busy must always be in all-caps (as in: "Sorry I haven't blogged in FOREVER. I've been so BUSY!") and # 48. Never let your blog wear white after Labor Day. 

It shouldn't have to be said, but these rules are very important. Not only are they for your blog's own protection, but they also ensure correct emphasis so there will be no question as to just how BUSY you are. So, I guess that means no Summer recap. Besides, it's been FOREVER and I barely even remember what we did this Summer because I've been way too BUSY to post about it. (See what I'm talking about?)

On the other hand, (as the saying goes) rules were made for the purpose of finding loopholes so we can do whatever we want to do without technically doing anything wrong (trust me, I'm Mormon, I know all about this kind of thing, as do politicians). So, in the great tradition of loophole finding,  I suppose I could just list the possible titles of things I would have blogged about had I not been on a break this Summer, and also had I not been so busy, I mean BUSY! That way, it's not technically a recap, but you don't have to miss out on even a moment of our incredible Summer fun fest.  (And if that's too confusing or seems too compromising to you, you probably would not do well in politics.) 

So here is the list of Bardsleyland Would-Have-Been Summer Blog Post Titles:

  • Summer Vacation:  44 Days, About 88 Tantrums. 
  • Never Judge a Family Camping Trip by the First 4 Hours
  • Faux Pas at the Neighborhood Block Party
  • Our Family Garage Sale: Somebody Please Buy This Crap
  • My Little Sister Visits, and it's All Fun and Games Until Sam Refuses to Eat in the Same Room as Her
  • Is it the Hottest Day Ever, or Do I Just Have a Fever? Oh Wait, it's Both
  • When Your Nieces Come to Visit for a Week, it's Best to Not be Boring
  • Bardsley Family Reunion 2009, Rapid City, South Dakota: What's Eaten at the Family Reunion Stays on My Hips and Thighs Forever
  • Vacationing with the Obamas: Our Trip to Yellowstone 2009
  • "Old Faithful is Boring" and other memorable observations by Mia
  • Reasons Why One Should Never drive for 12+ Hours in One Day with 3 Kids Under 6. EVER. (Let Alone Three Times in One Vacation)
  • Miracles Do Happen: Sam Lives to See His 4th Birthday 
So do you feel like you were there?  Can you almost hear the high-pitched squeals of joy and laughter that echoed throughout our house (on the first day of school)? Do you think I'm a bad mom for not actually posting anything about Sam's Birthday? Don't answer that. Instead, watch this slide show in honor of Sam and his Summer as a 3 year old. 

And just because I'm feeling generous, here is the reason mentioned above to avoid long road trips with my kids: *Correction: In the beginning of this clip I say that we're 4 miles away from home, when we were actually 4 hours away from home. Small, but critical detail.

Oct 6, 2009

Before I Know It, He'll Be 18 Right?

When I tell people that Nate is 16 months old, I often have people actually tell me that it is their favorite age. I usually politely smile and respond with some sort of vague pleasantry, but inwardly I'm thinking WHAT THE EFFING CRAP?!  Either people routinely will tell you whatever age your child is is their favorite just to be nice, or most everyone has pushed their memories of their own children as toddlers deep, deep down to some scary dark place that is completely unreachable except through electroshock therapy.

All I know is that I increasingly find myself looking at my budding toddler and wistfully recalling the good old days of babyhood. Remember when you would sleep for hours every day Nate? Remember when you couldn't walk or even crawl, and instead happily sat  playing with an actual baby toy for 45 minutes at a time? Remember how it was before you developed gross motor skills? It was awesome.

This however, is not awesome.

Tearing toilet paper into little tiny pieces does not make for a happy mom.

Do you know what is even less awesome? Doing this just a few hours later:

Yes, that's toilet water all over the floor (and down the hall). I swear I had closed the bathroom door earlier this morning. Sam must have used the potty before school, which would mean, you guessed it, that's pee water. So. Flipping. Awesome.

And who was the kid who threw a hysterical tantrum at Albertsons later this afternoon because I wouldn't buy him a stuffed animal?

And who thinks it's a challenge to try to get out of his high chair now at each meal?

And who screams and arches his back every time he gets puts in his car seat?

And who walked over and hit Sam on the top of his head with a heavy plastic toy today?

(OK, actually that was pretty funny. )

And who is my only child sleeping through the night in his own bed still?

For that reason alone, I love you. Just stay out of the toilet.