EXPRESSIONS FOR WOMEN TO USE ON HIGH STRESS DAYS
1. You, off my planet.
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
5. I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.
6. Allow me to introduce my selves.
7. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
8. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
9. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
10. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
11. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
12. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
13. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
14. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
15. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
16. Chaos, panic, and disorder-my work here is done.
17. Earth is full. Go home.
18. Is it time for your medication or mine?
19. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
20. I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
5. I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.
6. Allow me to introduce my selves.
7. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
8. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
9. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
10. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
11. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
12. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
13. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
14. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
15. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
16. Chaos, panic, and disorder-my work here is done.
17. Earth is full. Go home.
18. Is it time for your medication or mine?
19. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
20. I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
3 comments:
I was going to post a comment questioning the gender bias in this list with the point that all but a few of these could also be used by men.
Then I decided it was unwise to disclose my opinions about which expressions are for the exclusive use of women.
That is a fun list. Even I know better than to say some of that stuff.
#15 was seriously the case with the lady in front of me at the grocery store the other day. I could still taste her perfume in my mouth after she walked away. Gag!
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