The Search is Over

That's right, Mark starts a new job on Monday. He is so excited to be the new Crossing Guard at Mia's elementary school. It's not exactly full-time, and it's kind of a volunteer thing, but in these tough economic times, it's a start right?



OK, really.

We (meaning Mark) have a honest-to-goodness, actual-pay-check-earning, 40 hours a week (hopefully not more), slaving away at a desk under florescent lighting, in a cubicle with no windows, JOB. (Wait, we're supposed to be excited about this right?). No we are, we're thrilled. Ecstatic. I mean, forced family togetherness all day, every day, was super fun because we all totally love each other and, being the big happy family that we are, we just love being together ALL THE TIME and just can't stop singing and holding hands in a circle while roller skating like the creepy intro to Big Love, but without all the extra wives. Really, that's been great. But I for one can't wait for next week when Mark is gone and I can go back to sticking the kids in front of the TV all day so I can play Sudoku online. And I think that Mark will tell you that living off the government is fun and all, but eventually you just feel this need to go out into wild corporate America and sell your soul to the Man, whoever he is.

Here are the details:

It's a Canadian company. Based in Vancouver (BC, not Washington). Owned by an American company. Opening an office in Seattle. Doing some big projects for Starbucks. Confused? Me too, but go think about it over a frappuccino at Starbucks. Seriously. Let's keep us employed now right?

So what did I do to celebrate? What every other suburban, middle class, Caucasian, 30- something, Mormon housewife would do, of course. I went to Target!

Yeah for jobs!


ps- In all seriousness, thanks for every one's love, prayers, and support. We're hoping that is one life phase that we only have to go through once. :)

Long Overdue

This is truly embarrassing how long it's taken me to post about this. A while back (it seems like months ago) I entered my sister-in-law's craft give away on her blog, and a short time later I got the world's most adorable frame in the mail. I can't even tell you how much I love it! It's decoupage, can you believe it? When we were in Hawaii a few years ago, I went in some upscale knick knack store that was full of all kinds of over priced things including some frames almost exactly like this. I remember staring at those frames for what seemed like hours trying to justify paying $70 (yes $70) for one single frame that I loved so much it seemed to whisper to me, "I complete you." I was almost intoxicated enough by that wonderfully warm Hawaiian beach air to actually buy it.

But I didn't.

And now I have this beautiful homemade frame. Makes you want to give decoupage another try huh?

For those of you who don't know my sister-in-law Dakin, she is one of those people who does everything perfectly and better than anyone else, yet strangely, you don't hate her because she is also so stinking nice! Thanks Dakin, you are amazing!

I Do It Myself

Make sandwhiches

Get dressed

Go potty
Take pictures

Ta Da!

Happy Easter from Sam

In the middle of church today, right during a really quiet part, Sam made sure to let everyone know that he needed to go poop. He then got a lot of mileage out of another more descriptive potty word, one that is very similar to the word diorama. For some reason he felt compelled to say it over and over and over again. I'm sure it gave everyone warm and pleasant Easter thoughts. Though I'm not sure if this is a step up or down from a few weeks ago when announced very loudly, "Awwww, I don't like church!" Whatever the case, this kid doesn't keep his feelings locked up inside.

Thanks for sharing Sam. Inquiring minds wanted to know.

Adventures in Unemployment

Besides handling a mean iron, this job contender also looks hot in floral aprons.

Uh, yeah, no job yet. This is probably not very surprising considering that there are approximately half a million people out there applying for the same three jobs, namely anything that is full-time and does not involve doing this. I haven't posted much about the job search for a number of very important reasons. #1 being that it's one of my strengths to completely ignore reality and instead make repeated trips to Costco to buy chocolate, and #2 being, well, eating that much chocolate keeps you busy obviously. Also, the cheerful, hopeful part of me doesn't want to appear too negative (because if there is one thing I've learned from blogs it's that if you even kind of hint that your life isn't completely one big profound festival of joy and love, you get comments from that rascally Anonymous reminding you that "people are starving in Canada," and "WWSNB?" (What Would Stephanie Nielson Blog?)), while the realistic part of me is a little worried that 6 months from now it's going to be a little old when I'm posting "yeah, still no job yet." Just trying to keep it fresh you know?

So it's only been 3 weeks, and besides the obvious perks of aggravated insomnia, and the stigma of being referred to as "that bum with no job" (I keep telling Mia to stop calling Mark that), we've come to experience many other joys of unemployment, such as:

• Reading material! Applying for unemployment benefits results in piles and piles of riveting paperwork from the government. The "Unemployment Claims Kit" is only 47 pages long and is a must-read!
• Continually singing Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer" in your head all day.
• When your kids complain that you've turned the heat down, you get to say things like When I was your age they hadn't even invented heat yet, now go put on a sweater! (which is entirely untrue, but haven't you always wanted to say that?).
• Youtube! (This being one of our latest favorites)

Over all the biggest perk is having Mark home during the day. We've gotten so used to this, in fact, that yesterday he left for a measly 4 hours and came home to find all of us curled up on the floor in fetal positions, whimpering and incoherent. (A note to anyone who lives within a 5 block radius of us: if you happened to hear what sounded like an adult woman throwing a hysterical tantrum around 6:34 PM yesterday, I'm sure it was just someone's TV). (Note to self: we need more chocolate).

Oh, and current freak-out level: still about a 3... maybe 3.5.

This week in TMI

*Consider yourself warned.


Yesterday I volunteered in Mia's kindergarten class. It was jump rope day. This simple exercise immediately presented a small crisis:

Why is it that I can run three miles with no problem, but jumping rope for 2 minutes results in the proverbial opening of the floodgates.

There should be a warning label on all jump ropes: "Attention all mothers: if you have had 2 or more children, DO NOT attempt to jump rope in public, or while wearing light-colored pants." This should be a law. I think I'll write my congresswomen right now. I hear they don't have much else to do.

1 year + 1 day

It was one year and one day ago that I exploded onto the blogging scene and took cyberspace by storm. Everyone was like, "a stay at home mommy blogger? That is so unusual!" It's pretty much been a whirlwind ever since: there's been some posts, some pictures, comments, videos, it's been CRAZY, or should I say CrAzY (still trying to figure out the appropriate usage of toggle case). I would have posted something yesterday except I was way too busy sleeping in, surfing the Internet, and yelling at my kids for getting creative with glitter rather than watching TV like good kids. OK, really I was watching reruns of Full House while eating pop tarts. OK, I was reading World Domination For Dummies, fine. I was busy, whatever. But I did find the time to celebrate this momentous occasion by installing my first ever thingamawidget on my side bar (click here if you love the cowbell), thus ratcheting my blog design from "pretty boring" to "just slightly less boring." I'd say that's enough for one year. Who knows what the next year will hold for my blog, but whatever it is I'm sure it's going to be AwEsOMe. Or is it aWeSOmE?


Anyway, happy birthday little blog.
It's been fun.