Apr 4, 2009

Adventures in Unemployment

Besides handling a mean iron, this job contender also looks hot in floral aprons.

Uh, yeah, no job yet. This is probably not very surprising considering that there are approximately half a million people out there applying for the same three jobs, namely anything that is full-time and does not involve doing this. I haven't posted much about the job search for a number of very important reasons. #1 being that it's one of my strengths to completely ignore reality and instead make repeated trips to Costco to buy chocolate, and #2 being, well, eating that much chocolate keeps you busy obviously. Also, the cheerful, hopeful part of me doesn't want to appear too negative (because if there is one thing I've learned from blogs it's that if you even kind of hint that your life isn't completely one big profound festival of joy and love, you get comments from that rascally Anonymous reminding you that "people are starving in Canada," and "WWSNB?" (What Would Stephanie Nielson Blog?)), while the realistic part of me is a little worried that 6 months from now it's going to be a little old when I'm posting "yeah, still no job yet." Just trying to keep it fresh you know?

So it's only been 3 weeks, and besides the obvious perks of aggravated insomnia, and the stigma of being referred to as "that bum with no job" (I keep telling Mia to stop calling Mark that), we've come to experience many other joys of unemployment, such as:
  • Reading material! Applying for unemployment benefits results in piles and piles of riveting paperwork from the government. The "Unemployment Claims Kit" is only 47 pages long and is a must-read!
  • Continually singing Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer" in your head all day.
  • When your kids complain that you've turned the heat down, you get to say things like When I was your age they hadn't even invented heat yet, now go put on a sweater! (which is entirely untrue, but haven't you always wanted to say that?).
  • Youtube! (This being one of our latest favorites)
Over all the biggest perk is having Mark home during the day. We've gotten so used to this, in fact, that yesterday he left for a measly 4 hours and came home to find all of us curled up on the floor in fetal positions, whimpering and incoherent. (A note to anyone who lives within a 5 block radius of us: if you happened to hear what sounded like an adult woman throwing a hysterical tantrum around 6:34 PM yesterday, I'm sure it was just someone's TV). (Note to self: we need more chocolate).

Oh, and current freak-out level: still about a 3... maybe 3.5.


Tiffany said...

WWSNB? Now THAT is classic!

Good luck with everything.

Courtney said...

The Lowes here in Ellsworth is hiring :)

LAURA said...

you crack me up, WWSNB? I think every mormon girl reads her blog, how funny. good luck mark with the job hunt!

Neva said...

We've always lived on a prayer. In fact, I claim that Jon Bon Jovi is the real father of my three children (Matt is always after me to get that guy to pay up) and conversations in our house are always going like this:

N: We've got to hold on to what we've got

M: It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.

N: We got each other, and that's a lot.

Hang in there, guys ...

Rasmussen Family said...

Well don't you look cute in an apron...Maybe Clint should try that...he's been unemployed for 4 months. His favorite line is, "turn off the lights and save a dollar". Take care...there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Mary said...

There are many people just within the family that is unemployed and it makes me count my blessings even more. People are still a little shocked and amazed that Matt got out of the miltary when the economy is so bad. We are truly blessed and I thank Heavenly Father every time I pray for the blessing of employment. Hang in there I am sure Mark will get a job soon.

Suzie said...

Popped over from Tiffany's blog and love this post.
And can relate.
I'm currently at freak out level 6.5 but holding strong.
and seriously WWSNB is the funniest thing I've read all day.
I'll remember that.
good luck my dear! you hae a lovely family!

Aimee said...

Yes, WWSNB had me laughing and repeating out loud to Scott. I love your voice, Donna.

Unemployed husbands are the new black.

Don and Joyce said...

You should syndicate your blog. People would pay to read your insights and human nature. You have a great way with words..or maybe it's you have your way with words!

Alyssa said...

also came over from Tiffany's shared items and WWSNB was well worth the trip! Good luck with the job hunt and keep up the funny writing.

jhoopes said...

You are funny! Glad you are enjoying some unemployment perks--they probably won't last long, though, so get out that ironing!!