Thank goodness that Mark is working again, and I can go back to whining and complaining about regular things. Like this week for example. First week by myself with the kids in 6 weeks. You would never know I'd been doing this for 6 years. Before the week was over, I'd eaten half a tub of chocolate frosting and cried to myself in a park.
It was a little rough.
The crying thing is interesting because I never once broke down while Mark was unemployed. Well, at least not about the unemployment. (I probably teared up over touching cell phone commercials and that ugly lady on Britain's Got Talent-- I don't really remember.) But leave me alone with my kids for days on end and I end up blubbering at the park while all the other parents pretend not to notice the hysterical mom on the bench. OK, it wasn't really that bad, but I know I made at least one park dad pretty uncomfortable.
What is it about staying home with kids that is so hard sometimes? Kids can be so sweet, and bubbly, and wonderfully innocent, with their big Bambi eyes and pudgy toes, and their cute little noses that haven't morphed into some unflattering shape yet. But they also never. let. up. They whine (oh, can they whine), and fight. They pee on the floor, and demand to be held at just the wrong times, and need and need and need and need, and when you have nothing left to give they need some more. And it just can bring out the worst in you.
That's when you have a good cry in public and break out the frosting. (Betty Crocker, you are such sweet, sweet therapy.) And you make it through another little rough patch.
So we've got the first week behind us: a little breaking-in period, a readjustment, a few extra pounds gained. Next week will be better. Or not, but tomorrow is another day, some famous fake person once said. Parenting can be hard, so hard sometimes. But millions of much less emotionally stable people have done it and survived right?
And just so I don't get accused of glass-half-empty kind of stuff-- on the bright side, none of us died from Swine flu this week.
So that's a plus.
Mostly a plus, I think.