Apr 28, 2010

Continuing On: Rejects #6 & 7

OK, so I had an unexpected blog hiatus for a few days, give or take a week. I spent most of of it picking lice nits out of Mia's hair-- hours and hours of nitpicking in the most literal sense. I now have an unwelcome understanding of the severe odiousness of that term. Also the term "mountains of laundry."

So let's continue. I hope you're not too tired of my rejects. It's been a fun little creative exercise for me. Most other people call it "finishing what you started," but those people are probably the types who actually make cookies instead of just eating all the dough. Boring.

To make up for my little absence, today's post is a 2 for 1. After this, I only have a few more, provided I don't get distracted by another public health epidemic. When I'm all finished, I just might make it worth your while, if you know what I mean. But I'm still trying to decide if I have that kind of blog.

Reject #6
Title: Put it in Vinyl
Date: June 2009

I hear that vinyl lettering is all the rage these days. You can even custom order your own quote/cliche/expletive to adorn your wall/mirror/baby's bum. I was browsing through an assortment of them at a craft store recently. They were mostly the kind of heart warming sentiments that elicit a sudden desire to frolic in a meadow with singing woodland creatures, and also to punch someone in the face. Since I don't normally spend time doing either of those things, I didn't get any. However, on the wall of a tiny little restaurant in Canada a few weeks ago, I saw THE quote. The one that is destined to become my vinyl mantra just as soon as I can figure out what font to put it in. And when I do, this is what will be above the mantle:

I can only please one person each day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

And this is what I would put in the kitchen:
Make yourself a dang quesadilla!

What would your vinyl mantra be?

Notes: This one is from June of 2009. I believe it was originally part of a post titled "Other Reasons I Would Never Fit In In Utah." I was really down on the Beehive state back in 2009 for some reason. Eventually it morphed into this version, but I could never decide if it was funny or over-the-top bitter. Since then, I've read quite a few blog posts in a similar vein, which were much better, I thought, and I lost interest in finishing it. But, I still love that quote, so I might as well add mine to the mix of vinyl lettering satire. And for the record: I do have a quote on my wall (on a wood plaque, not in vinyl though) that says "Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much." You want to barf now don't you? (Hey, now that would be a great vinyl quote.)

Reject #7
Title: My Blog Rules
Date: September-ish 2009

  1. I never ever blog about the weather. This has been one of my rules since my 2nd post, and I'm pretty sure I haven't broken it since. If I have, refer to rule #2.
  2. I can change my rules at anytime. I know this is the most over used rule ever, but it really takes care of that pesky integrity problem.
  3. There are some things I do not share on my blog. One of those things is couponing. Yes, I coupon (rather, I dabble in coupons, really). But let's face it, nobody wants to see a picture of 25 boxes of Cap'n Crunch with a caption underneath that says, "For all of this? $2.47!!!"
  4. Lying is perfectly fine as long as it's funny. "My stories are 97% true," I once said. OK, no I didn't. David Sedaris said that, but I wish I did. It's a great quote.

Notes: This one started out in my blog notebook as a very rough outline, sometime last year. I ended up using the funnier parts in this post, and what's left is mostly serious. Serious meaning these are actually rules I kind of adhere to while blogging. I never posted it because a) I couldn't think of anymore rules, and it felt incomplete, and b) I couldn't figure out how to phrase it so that other bloggers wouldn't get defensive. And once I have to preface a post with a long "please don't take this personally" disclaimer, it just takes the fun out of it all. So, just to be clear, these are my rules only. If your blog has different rules, or no rules, I still read it. So you blog about the weather, so what? It's your blog, right? It would be especially appropriate for a weather blog, I might add. The point is, we all have different rules, spoken or unspoken, for blogging. If you have some, feel free to share.


Aimee said...

You should start a vinyl etsy store. It would be big hit in the Beehive state.

LAURA said...

...maybe because you have crappy weather in Washington you don't blog about it??? :)

I like the vinyl lettering idea!


I bet on your bedroom mirror you have a vinyl gangsta Calvin (ala Calvin & Hobbes)with a RAIDERS hat pissing on a beehive.

You need to sing "In our Lovely Deseret" 5 times and make mint brownies as penance. Don't just eat the batter lame-o.

You can never please everyone so don't apologize to those you don't.


Just to clarify the RAIDERS hat can't pee. How cool would it be though if the hat was dropping a stream on the beehive too?

That's a moneymaker right there. Where's the MLM vinyl machine...??

Tiffany said...

We really are kindred spirits on so many levels! I am constantly laughing, smiling, and nodding in agreement when I read your blog.

I love your vinyl lettering ideas and your blog rules, because your blog does, in fact, rule.

Still loving the rejects.

Kirstin said...

Luke has that quote on a t-shirt. He also has one that says, "I > U"...and people never get it...

But the real reason I am commenting is that your old man at Jo-Ann's still has me in wonderful laughing tears. That made my day!

Neva said...

Thanks for not posting your coupon deals. I am also a "sorta" couponer, mostly because most of the food you get through couponing is bad for you. There's not usually coupons for fruits/veggies, just stuff with high fructose corn syrup. I always laugh when people post their couponing deals and it's four boxes of froot loops, two cans of air freshner, and a sponge. This makes dinner how?