It's almost 3 AM.
I wish I was asleep. I've been sitting here thinking of everything I wish for right now, and just a warning-- it's not world peace, or an end to poverty, or anything remotely noble. Occasionally during my insomnia bouts I wax philosophical and altruistically solve the world's problems, but tonight I'm feeling very self-centered, and also very unfunny (warning #2).
I wish I wasn't an insomniac. It really sucks.
I wish I was still cool. Not in a pop culture, hip music and high fashion kind of way (seriously, once skinny pants came back, I knew I was out of the fashion loop for sure). but in a self-assured, true to my inner self, powered by ideals, unconcerned about what anyone else thinks kind of cool. I think I used to be like that.
I wish I knew exactly how to handle my kids all the time. I wish I could accept that I don't.
I wish I lived closer to my family.
It would be nice to wake up tomorrow to a clean house. But I wish I didn't care so much about stupid things that don't matter.
I wish I could read non-fiction and not have it put me to sleep. I wish it would work right now.
I wish I had a little more faith. I'll leave it at that.
I hope all my friends and family know how much I care about them. I should tell them (you) more often.
I wish I could just write everything I really felt right now without worrying about depressing the pants off of everyone who might read it.
I wish I had auditioned for the St. Mary's Nightingales (singing group) during my last year of college.
I wish I still believed that people are basically good at heart. But more so, even though I say that everyone is worthwhile and valuable, I wish that I actually treated everyone like I believe it.
I wish I never had to shave my legs again.
And yes, I wish I had a million dollars.
Good night everybody.