May 12, 2010

All In a Day's Work

So, besides awesome giveaways, what have I been up to lately? Nothing much. Just keeping my kids alive. No, really.

Just a few weeks ago, I left Mia and Sam in the bath unsupervised for no more than 3 minutes (they do, after all, know how to swim), and Mark walked in just in time to stop Sam from plugging in a fan and putting it in the bath with Mia. We had a new vocabulary word that day: electrocution. Also neverevereverdothatagain.

Then there was the time that we were getting ready to go for a walk, and Sam alerted me that the stroller (with Nate strapped in it) was rolling backwards down our very steep driveway and into the street. Sam still talks about the funny look on Nate's face as he watched me sprint after him like a crazy woman. It's unclear if there was foul play involved.

A while back I found Sam trying to open a box with a pair of scissors. After I helped him open it and reminded him about our scissors rule, he was silent for a minute and then said, "I cut my eye." What? Sure enough, his left eyelid was cut. I'm so glad I didn't see how close he came to stabbing his eye out.

Yesterday we found Nate walking around with a pair of scissors, open and against his throat. They were kids scissors, but still-- the fact that his first instinct with scissors is to hold the blade against his neck is beyond scary. How did he get the scissors? I don't know, but I'm willing to bet Sam was involved.

In fact, Sam seems to be the common denominator in all these stories, along with an appalling lack of parental supervision. But let's focus on Sam for the time being. Specifically Sam and scissors.

Exhibit A:

Well, that's the only exhibit for now, but I'm sure they'll be another one soon. When that happens, I'll be sure to post a picture, as long as it hasn't been confiscated by CPS as evidence.

As long as we're on the subject of Sam, you might be interested to know that his current life ambition is to be a duck.

I'm glad it doesn't involve doing anything with a blade.

And just for fun, here's a recent memorable quote from Sam:
(Be sure to read it in your most belligerent 4 year old voice)
"Here's a story: Once upon a time I was going to get a mom. I was really excited to get a happy mom. And instead I got a mad mom and I didn't like that. The end."

All I can say is, I'm sorry Sam, life doesn't always have happy endings. But as I recall, you did survive through that day. I'm going to hide the scissors now OK?


Courtney @ Ordinary Happily Ever After said...

Isn't "finding scissors and cutting everything" a favorite past time of all children?

Logan St Journal said...

Ah you make me laugh. Thanks

Sara said...

I'm always confused by parents whose kids have never cut their own hair. I mean, who knows kids that can avoid The temptation of finding a perfectly good pair of scissors and cutting off their own hair with it? None of mine. Not me either. It's a beautiful rite of passage. Those parents should envy us. They are missing out on a wonderful life experience. :)

Go Sam!!!!

Glad they're all still alive.

SUZY "LA JEFA" said...

crying (the laughing kind)...loved Sam's story.

Anonymous said...

I love Sam's story! You should have him illustrate it!

Tiffany said...

This kind of stuff is hilarious when other peoples' kids do it. (Except for electrocution! Yikes!)

Ana said...

You're hilarious. I can't stop laughing out loud.

Actually your recounting of scary moments reminds me of a scary moment we had this morning I walk into the kitchen at 6am-ish - our 2yr old is attempting to put spread on toast with a KNIFE, in front of the toaster (which has been known to spark/set toast on fire), which is STILL plugged in and ON, whilst his two older brothers (6 and 8) sat blissfully ignorant in the next room, chatting and colouring in at the table - !!!

I think I was more concerned about possible electrocution (c/o knife in toaster) than anything else.

Julia said...

Okay, I know this was an old post, but I'm laughing so hard at the "mad mom story" that I'm crying. Thanks for being so mean, Donna. You made my day.